There's Only Love in the Dark
by daisymeadowss
Summary: Dean, Haley, Ruby and their relationship through the years. "But the most important thing I can say to you is," he pauses for effect, "follow your heart, Dean. It knows what's good for you." Multi-chapters.
1. SEASON 1

_There's Only Love in the Dark  
><em>

Well, here it is, guys. My big story. With multi chapters and all! Yayy!

You know, I was meaning to upload the oneshots first, but I just couldn't help myself, I'm so excited about this one. As you can see it's One Tree Hill and Supernatural crossover, with Dean/Haley/Ruby love triangle. It's going to follow SPN's timelines and storylines and everything, actually, Haley is the only important thing that belongs to OTH. Everything else is gonna be SPN related. There will be 7 chapters, one chapter for one season.

I've never written OTH before and it's very rare I read OTH stories, so I'm not sure about Haley's characterization. I'm trying.

I don't have a beta, it's late night here and I'm tired, but I just wanted to get this chapter up today, so all mistakes you find are on me. Sorry for that.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything._  
><em>

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><p><em><strong>SEASON 1 - Maybe we'll find better days<strong>_

The first time he meets Haley James he's just six and she's four, and he's disgusted by girls because they have cooties.

The second time they meet he's 24 and she's 22, and he's very well aware of the fact that she's become an attractive, clever, nice young woman.

* * *

><p>"Hi," she greets him after she opens the door and finds him standing on the doorstep.<p>

"Hi," he smiles, although halfheartedly.

"Thanks for the help," she says, referring to the ghost problem in the neighborhood. "It means a lot."

A week ago, Dean and Sam had arrived in Tree Hill with the intention of finding out what's behind the frequent and mysterious murders in the small town. Little did they know that Miss Haley James was already investigating.

Her mother had been a hunter too; she and John used to be friends. (Actually, they were a little more than that, but nor Haley, nor Dean knows that. That's okay, though, it would just make things awkward between them.) They had an ugly row and they never spoke again. John really is an expert at making people angry at him.

Now, 18 years later, Haley and the Winchester boys meet again, however sad the circumstances are. You see, one of Haley's close friends, Brooke Davis, became a victim of the angry ghost too. That's what ultimately set Haley off, that's why she decided to step in and start asking around. And she was clever, inventive, learned some things from her mother, but she wasn't a hunter. That's why the Winchester brothers proved to be useful for her. With what Haley already figured out and the help of the boys, they quickly removed the ghost from the picture. Tree Hill was safe again, life could move on, Sam and Dean could continue to search for their father...

Except...

One week is a short period of time. One week is _nothing_. And it was still enough for Haley and Dean to grow close. He's taken a special interest in her and it seemed like she felt the same way about him.

Not that it matters either way; with the life he's leading they couldn't act on their feelings. They couldn't afford any kind of relationship.

_It's a shame._

"It's my job," shrugs Dean.

"Still. Brooke was my friend," she sighs sadly.

He looks down at his feet for a moment, a weird sense of sadness washing over him. He doesn't want to leave Haley behind, he realizes. She's the first girl he actually likes for her personality and not for her body in a really long time. Since Cassie probably.

"I've come to say goodbye," he says, looking back at her. She nods. _Of course._ She expected this. But...

She's grown really accustomed to Dean despite his arrogance and childish jokes (or maybe that's part of the charm) and she's going to miss him. But she always knew he wouldn't stay and she tried to prepare herself for it.

"So you're leaving?"

"I have to," he smiles regretfully. "Gotta find Dad."

She observes him carefully, noticing how he wants to say something else but he's holding it back. She quickly realizes that if she wants to take their relationship to a next stage, it has to be _her_ who makes the move because _he_ won't.

He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words. "Listen, Haley, I... I'm..." He can't finish his sentence because Haley decides to make that move in that moment by placing her lips on his. He staggers back a little, momentarily stunned by her actions but then quickly decides that this kind of interruption is a good kind of interruption and kisses her back.

Their first kiss is sweet and innocent. That's a first for him.

It lasts only for a minute and when they pull away he instantly feels cold, missing her closeness and the taste of her lips. (She kind of tastes like apple pie. Ironic, huh?) But with the distance between them all the reasons why they shouldn't have done that and why they couldn't be together come back.

"Haley... I'm leaving."

"I know," she nods and she's about to continue but he doesn't let her.

"I like you... and I'm leaving." They shouldn't have kissed, no matter how good it felt. It made his department just that harder.

"I know," she repeats. Her mind was made up right there in that moment. "But I could come with you."

Shock and confusion is written clearly on his face. "What? No..."

"I've been thinking," she begins. "About my life and what I want to do with it. And I think I should follow Mom's footsteps..."

"No..."

"Killing that ghost, it felt good. I felt like I was doing something great for the world. I want to feel that way again. I want to _hunt_," she proclaims, determined, resolved.

He's in shock, gawping. She's not serious. She can't be serious, right? There's so many reasons why she shouldn't do this to herself. It's dangerous, it's _very_ dangerous. You don't know whether or not you'll be here tomorrow. And _nobody_ wants to hunt, not really. In the end, everyone just wants a normal life.

"No, you don't."

"Yes," she exclaims. "I do. I want to help people."

"There are a million other ways to do that, Haley," he grumbles angrily. He can't let her do this.

"Yes, but this is what I have to do..."

"You don't have to do anything..."

"You don't understand,-"

"Oh, I do. I do," he cries. "Believe me, I understand. That's why I'm saying this: don't ruin your life," he shakes his head, needing her to understand. "You think you should do this, you feel like you owe something to someone, you feel like you owe your mother, but you don't. And you'll realize this eventually, but then it will be too late. Because once you're in, you can't get out. I'm already in, but had I known it, this isn't the life I would have chosen for myself." He had never said this aloud before. He had thought it, every day he thought it, but he never voiced these thoughts. He worked so hard to make everyone believe he was content, even _happy_ with this lifestyle. He wasn't. It was strange to expose himself like this to someone, it made him feel incredibly vulnerable and he didn't like the feeling, but he couldn't let her make this mistake. He _won't_ let her.

"And here I thought Sam was the brooding one," she jokes, laughing quietly, trying to break the tension. It doesn't work. He's still looking at her solemnly and she sighs, rubbing her temple.

"That's all really moving, Dean, but there's something you haven't thought of. I'm already in. I was _always_ in," she whispers. "And you can't stop me from doing what I want. If you don't let me come with you I'll go on my own. But it would be great if you'd let me come with you," she looks at him pleadingly. He has to look away from her eyes, fearing it would break him. "Let me come with you."

He really doesn't want this. He _really_ shouldn't. She'll regret it, everyone always ends up regretting it, and she'll be no different. But he knows she wasn't kidding when she said she'd go alone and that would be an even bigger mistake. If she was with him, he could take care of her at the very least.

"You're making a mistake, you know," he warns her one last time, hoping it would change her mind. It doesn't. She grins, knowing that this is the closest he'll come to agreeing and pulls him down for another kiss.

He means to object. He means to keep fighting, pull away, refuse her wish and make her see reason, but he doesn't.

It's a mistake, he already knows that.

He just doesn't know how _big_ the mistake really is.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was it. The beginning.<strong>

**Hopefully I'll be able to update by next week, but if I don't, don't sue me.**

**Kathy**


	2. SEASON 2

_There's Only Love In The Dark_

So, this wasn't supposed to be up so early. But... I had the worst day ever, and I was just feeling terrible and so upset. So I had to calm myself, and I decided to write this. (Writing calms me) I hope you won't complain it's up earlier than planned :P :D

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

* * *

><p><strong><em>SEASON <em>**_**2 - Forever is gonna start tonight**_

The first time he realizes he wants to marry Haley James is when he wakes up from his coma in the hospital and finds her sitting there beside him, crying softly _because of_ _him_. In that moment he knows.

He knows that he wants to marry her and one day, he _will_.

* * *

><p>He doesn't act on his thoughts for a very long time.<p>

Everything just falls apart: Dad dies, leaving Dean with the knowledge that he might have to kill his own brother, while the distance between them grows a little wider each day. In times like these, marriage is the last thing on his mind.

But even then, Haley _always_ stays with him, _always_ by his side. He could _always_ count on her. And that makes everything just a little bit easier.

His resolve is strengthened. He has to marry her.

So one day, between all the craziness and drama in his life, he makes time to take her back to Tree Hill and pop the big question.

"What are we doing here, Dean?" she questions confusedly after they get out of the Impala and she finds herself on the beach of Tree Hill.

He's facing the the sea, watching the waves and the sunset, not even bothering to turn around as he answers her. "It's where we first met."

"On the beach?" she wrinkles her eyebrows, even more perplexed than before.

"No, not on the beach," he rolls his eyes, turning back to her. "In Tree Hill. I just thought the beach would be a great place to see when the sun is going down."

She stares at the scenery before her, her eyes roaming over the waves and the sun, the wind blowing her long hair into her face. Everything is so _peaceful_. "It's beautiful," she agrees, but she still needs to know what they're doing here. "But it doesn't explain why we're here."

She watches him with curious eyes as he takes a deep breath and grabs her hands in his. "Haley... God, I'm not good at this," he chuckles a little nervously. "I don't make grand speeches and I don't do chick flick moments." Haley laughs at that, remembering that he had used the exact same words right before he told her he loved her for the first time.

He smiles at her adoringly. The sound of her laugh is a beautiful sound. "But I love you. And I want to marry you." She gasps audibly as he gets down on one knee before her and takes out a little black jewellery box from his pocket. He opens it, revealing the ring he bought a few weeks ago and she can feel the tears springing into her eyes. The ring in itself isn't much, because you don't get payment for hunting (which is really unfair, by the way, because it's one of the most important jobs in the world) but he thinks it fits her. Simple but beautiful. Just like Haley.

And if the look on her face and the tears in her eyes are any indications then she loves it too. (The tears are a good thing, right? Girls always cry when somebody propose to them, don't they?)

"Haley James... will you marry me?"

"Yes," she says, half-laughing, half-sobbing. "Yes, yes!"

She holds out her hand to him and he slips the ring on her finger, grinning proudly the entire time. He stands up to kiss her happily and so passionately she can barely breathe afterwards. This kiss feels like _victory_.

"We're getting married," she laughs, her smile bigger and brighter than ever before, not quite believing Dean has just proposed to her. She's afraid she's just dreaming and she'll wake up any moment now.

"Yes, we are," he whispers, looking deeply into her shining eyes, caressing her face tenderly. For a long, blissful moment they just stare at each other silently, both of them trying to convince themselves that this is real and not a dream. It all feels so surreal. Then he finally breaks away from her gaze and pulls her towards the Impala.

"Come on, let's celebrate!"

* * *

><p>Three months later they're married.<p>

It's a small, quiet ceremony with only Sam, Bobby, the Harvelles and some of Haley's old friends present. Despite that, or maybe _because_ of that, it's a really beautiful, intimate, touching wedding. The kind that would make you cry if you had seen it in a movie. The kind that every woman dreams about.

That night she lays naked in his arms in the dark, feeling more safe and loved than she's ever felt before in her life, wishing they could stay this way forever. He presses kisses to her forehead, to her shoulder, to her neck and lips, holding her close and whispering in her ear. "What are you thinking about?"

"You. And me. Us." She looks up at his face, running her fingers over his lips. "It's too good to be true."

He internally agrees with her; he had been thinking something similar. He can't stay happy for too long, something _always_ happens. That's just the way things go in his fucked up life.

But he doesn't tell her that. Tonight is for celebrating and for being blissfully happy. The rest will come tomorrow.

"Is this what you wanted, Haley?"

"Yes," she answers without hesitation. "Is this what you wanted, Dean?" she repeats his words.

"Well..." he pretends to mull over the question. She laughs and slaps his chest playfully.

"Come on, Dean..."

He grabs the hand which hit him, holding it there on his chest, close to his heart and kissing her slowly. "Just kidding, Hales," he murmurs against his lips. "Yes. It's what I wanted."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, Ruby is showing up next chapter! Who's excited? I know I am! That, plus Dean's deal will hopefully make next chapter more interesting than this first two ;)<strong>

**Until next time, peeps**

**Kathy  
><strong>


	3. SEASON 3

_There's Only Love In The Dark_

Uhhh, yeah... well, I know this is like... super late. But... yeah, I've got no excuse. Sorry.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

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><p><em><strong>SEASON 3 - As I take my last breath<strong>_

The first time he meets Ruby he points a gun at her, calls her a bitch and almost shoots her. If it wasn't for Sam, it wouldn't have been an _almost_.

So no, their relationship doesn't start smoothly. (But hey, aren't all the big, epic love stories about love-hate relationships?)

He was taught to hate demons ever since he could remember. Devils are evil, cruel, inhuman_. _They_ kill. _There are no exceptions. She isn't an exception either, he's sure of that. What was she even thinking when she came into their lives, how could she think they would believe her?

(Sometimes he has problems with trusting humans, _people_. You can't expect him to trust a _demon_.)

But then she saves his life and he saves hers, and they have this talk that's supposed to be _meaningful_ or something, and he thinks he'll be able to tolerate her after all. At least until she gives him a reason to kill her.

But she never does.

She never betrays them, never lies to them, never tries to kill them. On the contrary, she helps them solve cases, helps them to find a way to save Dean from the pit - even though she's told him there's no way to save him - and she tries her hardest to befriend them. She sometimes hangs out with them in her free time: she makes chit-chats with Haley, drinks alcohol with Dean and worries over Sam like an older sister would do.

And it works.

He knows both Sam and Haley are beginning to trust her and like her, and he hates to admit it... but so does he.

They're _friends_.

They're the kind of friends who fight all the time and gets a kick out of annoying the other, but they're friends nonetheless. (And she might or might not be a little attracted to him. Hey, Dean's a good-looking guy, you can't deny that.) The fact that she's a demon doesn't even seem that important anymore. She seems just like any other hunter - minus the black eyes.

And in a twisted kind of way, they even care about each other's well-being. That's why Dean's impending death is so hard for her to swallow.

"I'm gonna miss you, Dean," she admits one night when they're sitting next to each other in a bar, drinking whiskey incontinently. She's a little tipsy already, of course, otherwise she would've never told him that - she's not exactly open with her feelings and emotions. Something they have in common, she muses.

He smiles at her sadly. "I'm gonna miss you too, Ruby," he tells her, using the nickname that she hates so much. She doesn't seem to mind it right now though.

"How much time do you have left?"

He takes a sip from his glass somberly so he doesn't have to answer her right away. "Three weeks," he chokes out uncomfortably. He doesn't like to think about that. Ever. But especially not now when she's looking at him with her sad and prying eyes. He doesn't want to seem weak in front of her so he turns away and becomes engrossed in his drink, taking another gulp. She gets the hint - he doesn't want to talk about it - so she turns back to her own glass, both of them submerging in their own thoughts.

After a moment of silence an idea pops into her head and she raises her glass in the air. "Well then.. let's drink to you. Dean Winchester, a wonderful, brave, attractive young man. _A_ _hero."_

He laughs heartily at this description, shaking his head in amusement. It's a shame he doesn't think any of those words fit him (well, maybe attractive does) but she seems to meant it seriously. Well, as seriously as she can while drunk. "You're so drunk," he says eventually because he doesn't know what else to say to that. She just raises her eyebrows expectantly, indicating towards his glass with her head and then towards hers. He knows what she wants and he caves in, clinking his glass to hers ceremoniously. "To me."

"To you."

She turns to inspect him closer when they both finish their whiskey, and all of the sudden she feels nauseous when she thinks about the time when he won't be around anymore. Her stomach cramps unpleasantly, her eyes begin to prick with tears, her breathing becomes labored. She feels sick physically sick and emotionally drained. _Jesus, _she shouldn't have drunk_ so much._

Without even realizing what she's doing, she slowly brings up a hand to his hair, running her fingers through it, massaging his head. To say he's shocked and confused by her actions would be an understatement. "Ruby..."

"Shhh." She presses her finger to his lips to stop him from talking, leans closer to him and whispers. "I'm _really_ gonna miss you." And the next thing he knows her lips replaced her finger on his mouth, she's kissing him and he's doing nothing to stop her. For a moment, just for a moment he kisses her back.

Her lips are incredibly soft and sensual, she's beautiful, he's drunk and he can't think of any reason why they shouldn't be doing this. He doesn't see anything wrong with it so he kisses her back.

But then he remembers.

Haley.

His wife.

_Haley._

He breaks their kiss immediately but he doesn't pull away from her like he probably should, their foreheads still pressing against each other's. "Ruby, I can't," he whispers. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed her like that before, because he _did_. She's beautiful. Sexy. She has long, soft blonde hair, mesmerizing blue eyes, a body most women would kill for, curves in just the right places. _She's beautiful_. And in any other life he probably wouldn't have pulled away. But in this life? In this life he's married. And he loves his wife. "I can't... I love Haley. _I can't_."

She nods. "I know." She stands up to leave before she manages to make an even bigger fool of herself by actually crying in front of him, but he stops her, grabbing her arm and turning her back to him. She feels humiliated and she can't look him in the eye so she looks down at her feet, shuffling uncomfortably. She shouldn't have kissed him. She's smarter than that. She should've known better, should've known this would happen. But still, rejection stings like _hell_.

"Hey... This won't change anything between us, right?" He looks at her hopefully, even though he knows it will. They both know it will change _everything_ but he still asks that question, and when she looks up at him, tears swimming in her bright blue eyes, she still answers him with:

"No. It won't."

* * *

><p>To say that Dean's deal and upcoming death puts a strain on his relationship with Haley would be an understatement.<p>

She can't handle it. She's depressed and mad and _unhappy_. She thinks what he did was selfish of him, she thinks it makes him a hypocrite because when John gave up his life for his he was _so mad_ at him for that and now he's doing the _same damn thing_, and she's not afraid to tell him all that. She doesn't understand him.

_She doesn't understand._

And so that leads to a lot of ugly arguments and loud fights. (He doesn't want to fight anymore. He's so, _so_ tired of it. He just wants to die in piece.) They only talk about work these days and minor, insignificant, unimportant things because whenever Haley brings up the more pressing problems it always ends with them screaming and yelling at each other. How did that happen? When did that happen? It shouldn't be like this for at least another couple of years. They've only been married for a year._ One freaking year._

But then again, it's also their _last_ year of marriage.

Okay, he can't fully blame Haley for being mad, he would be mad too, but he would _understand_. He would _always_ understand.

"What are you doing?" he asks her as he plops down on the bed next to her. She doesn't answer him, she doesn't turn around to face him, she just continues to stare right ahead of her. He turns his head in the direction she's looking, trying to figure out what she's watching. After a moment of confusion he realizes it's the clock. "What..." She silences him by placing her fingers on his lips, but she still doesn't look at him. When the clock strikes twelve, she sighs heavily, looking down at her lap so he wouldn't see the tears springing into her eyes.

"Haley..." he draws out slowly, his voice confused and questioning.

"So I guess that's it," she looks up, but still avoids his eyes. "24 hours left." Alright, he should have known this was what it was about.

He closes his eyes, rubbing his temple tiredly. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he sighs, opening his eyes again, his gaze boring into hers. She couldn't look away from him even if she wanted to. "I know we fought a lot in the past year. I know I deserved it. But I love you. _I do_."

"I love you too," she chokes out, voice trembling, tears falling down her cheek. He wipes them away carefully and takes hold of her head, trying to find the right words to say what he wants to.

"We found Lilith. Sam wants to take on her..."

She sits up straighter, putting on a strong face, ready to fight. "Okay," she nods. "Let's go."

"No," he shakes his head. "No, you're not coming."

"Dean..."

"If something goes wrong," he continues, ignoring her protests all together. "I don't want you there. I don't want you to see me die," he tells her seriously, without blinking, his poker face in place. He won't budge this time. He's already decided and she is _not_ coming with them. "If something goes wrong I want to know that at least you'll be okay."

"So you want me to stay here and _do nothing_?" she sums it up, her voice rising at the end of her question.

_"Exactly."_

"_No!_ I won't..."

"Yes, you _will_," he states stubbornly. "Haley, do this for me. Consider it... my last wish." He goes from demanding to pleading and guilt-tripping.

"Okay, now that was just not fair..."

"_Please_." And she can't refuse him anymore. Her will was already weak and wavering, and this little word destroyed it completely. She nods unwillingly, more hot tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you," he whispers gratefully, trying to rein his own emotions in, trying not to think about the fact that this is the last time he ever sees her. "One more thing." He grabs her hands, squeezing them tightly, trying to give her some strength. She's gonna need it. (Her tears fall harder at the gesture.) "You gotta promise me something. You have to promise you'll move on..."

"Oh, Dean..."

"... and find someone worthy of you. Have a family, children..." She gets up from the bed, unable to listen to it anymore, but he continues mercilessly in a monotonic, dull voice. "... because you deserve it. A normal life, without hunting."

She tries so hard to wipe away the unwanted _fucking_ tears but it's hopeless as they keep coming and coming, running down her cheeks. "You could still come back." She desperately tries to hang onto the last straw of hope she has left before she sinks, submerging under the water, never to reach the surface again. "Maybe you'll kill Lilith and deal will be off..."

He gets up too, grabbing her by her shoulders to look directly in her tearful eyes. He needs her to understand the unlikeliness of that. "We both know that won't happen," he states in an emotionless voice. He just feels it. He knows the end is near and they can't stop it. _They just_ _can't_. "Please." She nods again, sobbing now. He pulls her close to him one last time, hugging her one last time, stroking her hair, rocking her gently as he lets her cry into his chest. The same chest she was resting on all those nights ago when he married her and promised her forever and ever. (It didn't quite turn out that way, did it?) The same chest that she's touching now for the last time.

When she finally calms down a few minutes later, she pulls away from him and smiles a tired, sad, teary smile that doesn't even begin to reach her eyes. He returns it weakly, leaning down to steal one last kiss from her. It's a bittersweet kiss. It tastes like _death_. It tastes like the end. The end of them, the end of _Dean_.

The end of the happy, carefree, friendly woman she once used to be.

They slowly, reluctantly break away from each other and he turns to leave before all his will power evaporates and he ends up staying with her.

"Goodbye, Haley."

And then she's breaking and breaking into million tiny little pieces and her heart is breaking too as she falls to the floor, sobs wracking her body, grieving her soon-to-be-dead husband.

Only 24 hours left to go before her life drastically changes.

* * *

><p><strong>So was it worth the long wait? Hope so, but I'm not really confident about it. Season 3 related stories have always been hard for me to write, due to Dean's deal, of course. I never quite feel satisfied with them, I either think there wasn't enough angst or that there was <em>too much<em> angst. _*sigh*_  
><strong>

**Anyway, which couple are you rooting for after this chapter? Still Dean/Haley? Or are you team Dean/Ruby now? Maybe both? Or maybe Haley/Ruby? Hahhaa :P :D**

**Well, let me know what you think and I promise I'll _try_ to update sooner ;)**

**Love,**

**Kathy  
><strong>


	4. SEASON 4

_There's Only Love In The Dark_

Uhh, this was supposed to be up yesterday, but you have no idea - I spent five hours, _five hours_, just typing this down, then another two editing it and I'm still not quite okay with all of the scenes. I don't even know why it took me so long, I'm usually faster... :O

**OH, IMPORTANT NOTE, IMPORTANT NOTE! **So yes, you see, in this story Dean was in Hell for a whole year in human-time, because... well, to tell you the truth, I didn't want his death to be still so fresh for Haley, you know. You'll see.  
>And also, I didn't mention this last chapter, but blonde!Ruby never died in this story like she died in 3x16. She's still alive and she's still good, and she's still <em>blonde<em> :)

Well, on with the story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

* * *

><p><em><strong>SEASON 4 - Everything changes<strong>_

The first time he thinks that maybe their marriage was a mistake - and it's a fleeting thought, he doesn't even really mean it, but _it's there _- is when he goes to see her after coming back from the dead. The catch?

The catch is that he finds her with another man.

Now, logically he knows that maybe he shouldn't be so mad about that. He knows. _He died._ And he told her to move on. Yes, he's being unfair right now. But he can't help it. When you knock on your wife's door and she opens it, wide eyed and disbelieving, and after you finally proved to her that it's you, it's really _you_ and not some monster playing a cruel joke, she pulls you into a tight, warm hug, and you think: _'finally, I'm home'_ only to realize seconds later that your wife has already found someone else to replace you... yeah, it kinda takes away the magic of the moment. Anyone would be mad.

"Who is he?" he asks after the man left, pretending to be indifferent, like it's no big deal, but he fails at it. Haley knows him too well to buy his act. She sees the way his fists are clenched and lips are twitching, and she notices how his eyebrows are furrowed deeply, expression cold, eyes blazing. Oh, yes, _he's mad._

She descends down on the couch slowly, fearing that her legs would give out under her if she didn't. All this... it's too much. She still can't fully wrap her head around the fact that he's _here_ and he's _real_ and he's _alive_. She half-expects to wake up anytime soon now.

"His name is Nathan." Dean snorts rudely, muttering something under his breath that sounds a lot like: "Oh, so he has a name." She decides to ignore it. "He's just a guy, Dean. It doesn't mean..." She stops here because she doesn't want to lie. Truth be told, she _did_ like Nathan. He's a sweet guy, someone she could imagine herself falling for if things were different. So she couldn't very well say it didn't mean anything, but she knows she never had any real chance with him. He's just that rebound guy. And now Dean's back... she doesn't _want_ a chance with Nathan. _"How?"_ That's the one question she's been dying to ask ever since she realized that her husband was alive._ How?_

He immediately understands her question, he knows what she's referring to. How did he come back? That's the million dollar question. "I don't know. I don't know yet," he shakes his head, getting lost in his thoughts for a moment before snapping back to reality. "Don't change the subject."

"I'm not changing the subject._ Excuse me_ for being curious..." she trails off when he raises his eyebrows at her meaningfully. Okay, _now_ she is changing the subject. "Dean..." She's struggling to find the right words. "It's been a year. I didn't think you'd come back. I was just doing what you wanted, I was trying to move on, but it wasn't even anything serious..." The sentences leaving her mouth sound defensive even to her own ears, like she's just committed a big crime and now she's trying to come up with excuses, that are all fake and meaningless.

The situation confuses her. Did she do something wrong by going on a few dates with Nathan? Was that cheating? Technically, it _wasn't _ because he was dead and she was a widow, but now he's not and they're still married and... she's just confused about everything.

She's right and he knows it. He shouldn't be mad at her, he doesn't have the right. It was _him_ who told her to find herself a nice guy and move on. He practically begged her. And now he's angry with her because she was just doing as she was asked. It really isn't fair for her.

But you have to understand that it's not easy for him either. Yes, he did ask her what he asked, but he didn't expect to come back and find that she's already moved on. It hurt. It hurt a lot. When he saw her with that Nathan guy he felt like she tore his heart out of his chest and stomped on it painfully.

And isn't it just easier to cover up your hurt with anger?

"Did it work? Did you move on?"

"_No_," she answers immediately. She sounds honest and unfaltering, but he - because he's a jackass - still raises his eyebrows disbelievingly. She sighs, feeling incredibly worn out. She's really tempted to just go to bed right now and deal with this mess tomorrow. But he wouldn't let her do that, of course. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Dean. I did like Nathan. And maybe I could have loved him." He turns away from her at this point, ignoring the blunt ache in his heart. "But the problem was... that I still loved you._ I love you._" He looks at her smiling face and he suddenly feels ridiculous and ashamed. Of course she still loves him. He shouldn't have made such a big deal out of this - it's not like she actually cheated on him. Gosh, he's a fool.

He kneels down in front of her so he could kiss his wife finally - it is been way too long - and she kisses him back eagerly, but after a few moments she abruptly pulls away. She runs a finger along her lips where his were just seconds ago, rubbing them nervously. Surprised by her actions, he asks: "What's wrong, Hales?" She rests her forehead against his, needing his closeness, caressing his cheek tenderly before she answers.

"I've stopped hunting, you know. After you died. Tried to make a normal life for myself, because I knew that's what you wanted. And now that I did, I don't wanna go back. I don't want to start hunting again." Of course she doesn't. He always knew this lifestyle wasn't for her. But she didn't listen, did she?

"I know. That's understandable."

"No, you don't understand, Dean. _You_ need to go back. I know you do and I'm not foolish enough to ask you to stay, even though I'd really like to. But _I_ can't. I _can't_ go back with you."

He's slowly beginning to realize what she's trying to tell him, but he chooses to play the dumb. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know how we will fit together if we're living two completely different lives. How are we going to make that work?" she inquires, shaking her head sadly. She intends it to be a poetic question, but he answers her anyway.

"We'll figure out something,-" he begins because he needs to know that this is not the end of them - even though it does seem like they're signing up for an impossible task - but she's already shaking her head.

"I think I just need some time," she cuts in. "To decide what I really want."

"Time?" he questions, his voice icy, his eyes narrowing.

"Time away from you," she explains and she hates herself in that moment. She's sure he's going to hate her too soon enough. She takes a deep breath, willing herself to continue. "I need a break from this relationship."

His mouth falls open in shock. He can feel the hurt settling in again.

_Is she breaking up with me now?_

He closes his mouth, pressing his lips into a thin line while she anxiously waits for him to say something already, then he opens it again but no sound comes out. He clears his throat, coughing a little, and looks at her with disbelieving eyes."What, one year wasn't enough?" he snaps sharply. She flinches, hurt flooding her eyes, and some part of him thinks he should feel bad about that, but he doesn't. He's pretty wounded at this moment too.

She closes her eyes, trying to keep herself together. She knew, she just knew he would misunderstand her. "No, Dean, that's not it, but you have to admit that this situation is very strange. I'm so glad you're alive, you have no idea." She grabs his head to make him look at her, to make him understand. She tries to tell him through her eyes that she couldn't be more grateful that he's back, but he's still giving her the evil eye. She tries to ignore that. "Despite that, I think we need this. To make us realize what we want from each other."

"How do you figure I don't know what I want?" he retorts.

"_I_ don't know what I want," she exclaims as she gets up from the couch and starts pacing back and forth. "It seems like I have two options: it's either you and hunting, or no hunting and no you. And I just want you but _no_ hunting. It doesn't seem to be one of my options though." She sighs in frustration. Oh, how much she wishes things could be simpler. How much she wishes they were just two regular people with regular lives who knew nothing about Hell and the monsters in the dark. Why couldn't they be like that?

He stands up too. "So you do know what you want."

"I just don't know how to get it."

"Too bad," he spats out sarcastically. "But you know what they say, honey. You can't always get what you want."

"Please, don't be like this," she pleads with him desperately, her voice shaking, tears springing into her eyes because of his cruel words. "It's not a breakup, it's not a divorce. It's just a little time apart." She shrugs. "I just need to think. _Alone_."

There's so much she needs to think about. Her biggest concern is definitely whether or not she's willing to go back to hunting for Dean. Is he worth it? Can she do it?

Becuase if she can't... then they probably don't have a future together.

He stares at her for a long moment, processing everything she's just said, trying to understand her. He sighs, and just when she thinks he's finally softened and he's about to relent, he realizes that he just can't think rationally right now. His facial expression hardens again and he shakes his head, heading towards the door. "Whatever."

"No, please, don't be like that, don't leave while you're angry with me..."

He leaves anyway.

* * *

><p>The second time he kisses Ruby he does it to shut her up.<p>

He's been back for more than a month now, but it's the first time they're alone together. He thinks she's avoiding him for some reason and that bothers him a lot. The worst part is that he can't figure out why. (Okay, that's a lie. He _knows_ why. But he still refuses to think about that kiss - it brings out mixed emotions in him. First of all, he can't believe he cheated on Haley, and he doesn't even know why. He doesn't know _why_ he kissed her back. Or why that kiss felt _so good._ Second of all, he can't even begin to understand why she had kissed him in the first place. Surely, she doesn't like him that way. Does she? That would be... unlike her. He's not her type and he knows that.)

But now here they are, and he's beginning to realize why she's been avoiding him.

Because it's awkward. _Very awkward._

He doesn't know what to say, what to do and she's not making the situation any easier. You see, she's acting like he's not even there in the room with her. They haven't really talked to each other since that kiss in the bar - the one that she initiated. He's tried to make things right with her again - it's easy for him, easier than for her because that kiss meant nothing to him and he had Haley - but she's reluctant to even stay in the same room with him. He's starting to feel like some stupid kid, desperate for his mother's attention who doesn't give him the time of the day.

"So..." He rubs his hands together uncomfortably, searching for something to say. She turns towards him grudgingly, raising an eyebrow expectantly, but he keeps quiet.

"Yes?"

"How have you been?" he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

She almost laughs out loud at his pathetic question, but instead she just shrugs noncommittally. "Fine, I guess."

"Good. That's good," he smiles awkwardly. She doesn't return it.

They're silent again.

She grows tired of this, sighs heavily and stands up from the chair she was sitting on, heading outside. "I gotta go, Dean..."

"No, don't." His words stop her in her tracks. "Stay."

She doesn't even bother to turn around as she answers. "I can't. I need to take care of something, and as much as I would love to stay here and continue this trivial chit-chat with you," she says sarcastically, "I _unfortunately_ can't. The world needs to be saved and it ain't gonna do it by itself."

He notes the sarcasm and the hostility in her words, but he doesn't care. He just needs his friend back. He doesn't have many friends - there's Sammy, but he's Sammy and he's his little brother, and there's Haley who's his wife and who's not talking to him at the moment, and then there's Bobby who's probably the closest thing he has to a friend but at the same time he's a lot like a father figure. And of course, there are the Harvelles, but Jo has always had a crush on him, so it's not just friendship on her part, and Ellen... she's the mother figure.

He needs a friend in his life, a real friend, and all he has left for that role is Ruby. So he'll be damned if he let her walk away now. "_Please,_" he begs her, emphasizing the word.

She whirls around to face him, shaking her head in disbelief. "Why? she inquires, face impassive. "Why should I stay? Give me one good reason." She really doesn't understand why he wants her to stay. Why does he want to keep pretending they're friends and nothing's wrong? What's the appeal?

"I want to go back to the way we were before," he explains, his eyes pleading with her. _To the way before I kissed you,_ she thinks bitterly. She presses her lips together firmly and wills herself not to think about that night or that kiss. Sometimes when she closes her eyes she can still taste his lips against hers, remembering how that felt like. It drove her crazy. "We could talk," he suggests hopefully. She snorts. _Fine. If he wants to talk..._

"Alright, let's talk." She crosses her arms across her chest and looks at him strictly. "Does Sam know you remember Hell? Have you told him yet?" Okay, low blow, she admits that. But if she infuriates him just a little he'll realize that she's not worth the effort and then she'll be free of him again.

Dean visibly flinches and she almost feels bad, but then his face hardens, any signs of emotions disappearing altogether. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Of course you don't," she nods, her voice sickeningly sweet. "But _I_ do. I've been to Hell too, you know." She points to her eyes that she's changed to black in this moment. "For much longer than you have. And considering everything... you're actually pretty lucky, you know. You're no demon, you don't have obnoxious black eyes and you have your own body." She stops closer to him and looks him right in the eye. On the outside he still looks indifferent, not even blinking, but his face is tensed and she knows she's getting to him, she knows he's just trying to hide the truth from her. But he can't. He can't fool her, he can't fool someone who's been through the same thing. "But your memories of Hell still haunt you," she whispers cruelly.

He's had enough. "Stop it."

"In your dreams and even when you're awake,-"

_"Ruby."_

"And you can't run from it. And you know what?"

"Stop it, _dammit_!" he yells at her finally, loosing his temper. "I said stop it!"

"No, no, I will not stop it!" she screams right back at him. "Because this will not go away. It will stay with you until the day you die and even after that, and the sooner you accept it and get some help, talk about it, maybe to me, maybe to your brother or your wife, the better because..."

He can't listen to this anymore. He just wants her to shut up, just shut her mouth and stop talking and...

And so he kisses her.

She's taken off guard by his sudden action, yelps into his mouth and staggers back a little, but he puts a hand on her back and pulls her closer, and after the shock wears away, despite her best knowledge, she kisses him back. And _my god,_ her memory was _nothing_ compared to this.

This kiss is passionate, heated and breathtaking. Her fingers are everywhere, tugging at his hair and exploring his broad chest, and his hands are busy massaging her breasts, and it feels _so good_. This kiss screams _sex_.

It lasts for minutes and minutes and when he finally, although unwillingly, pulls away he does it because he needs air to breathe. They're both panting loudly and they're both incredibly turned on. She just wants to jump his bones and kiss him again until the end of time and screw the fact that he's married and screw the fact that he needs to breathe - air is overrated - but she manages to control herself. Barely. She leans against him, closing her eyes and after a few moments of silence while they both try to digest what had just happened, she whispers: "Why did you do that?"

"You wouldn't stop talking," he shrugs, his voice volume matching hers. "I wanted to shut you up."

She laughs a little. "Well, that's one way to do that. I just thought if I riled you up you'd send me away," she explains herself. "I didn't expect you to kiss me."

"I bet," he grins and kisses her again. This one doesn't last as long as their previous one and it's not nearly as passionate.

"You know," she begins slowly. This time it was her who broke their kiss. "You said you wanted to go back to the way we were before. This isn't exactly like _before_," she points it out.

"Doesn't matter," he shakes his head. Another kiss. He can't seem to stay away from her lips. They're unnaturally soft.

She pulls away almost instantly and asks the question she's been dreading to ask, the question that came to her mind the second his lips touched hers, the question that she doesn't even want to know the answer to. "What about Haley?" She knows they're... taking a break or what, but that doesn't make this right. Does it? She has no desire to be the other woman.

He sighs heavily. He leans away from her a little, running his hand through his hair tiredly. To tell you the absolute truth... he can't be bothered by her at the moment. He knows that's wrong. He wants to feel differently. But kissing Ruby feels _right_. He needs more and he can't fight that feeling. It's unexplainable. _And dangerous_. And probably unhealthy.

"We're taking a break," he explains. It's a small comfort and it doesn't make this any less wrong, but it's true. And for all he knows, she might have continued seeing that Nathan guy. (Deep down, he knows she didn't.) "Don't think about her," he orders.

And she doesn't. All thoughts about the _'other woman'_ flee from her mind, concentrating only on him.

And neither of them thinks about Haley for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>It's the quiet nights like these, when he's all alone, that's when he starts question what he's doing. Having a relationship solely based on sex with his only friend. Cheating on his wife.<p>

When did he become this man? Did he like this man? Did he even _recognize_ this man anymore?

Is it Hell's fault?

He takes a gulp from his beer and decides that he really needs to stop watching that stupid, corny doctor show, _'Dr. Sexy M.D.'_ He's becoming too sappy.

Ruby will be here soon anyway, and he can't be having these thoughts around her. She'll notice something's up and she'll make him talk about it and because he's such a pussy when it comes to her, he will talk about it and that won't end well. So he changes the channel - football will be good enough distraction - and continues drinking his beer.

But he can't get rid of his thoughts.

Not even a minute later there's a soft knock on the door - speak of the devil - and she comes waltzing in in her tight red shirt and the short skirt and boots that she's wearing just for him, and her long blonde hair is curled because she knows he likes it that way. He chokes on his drink, because - _hot damn_, she's beautiful!

She laughs her happy, carefree laugh, the one that he doesn't hear often and the one that sounds like bells chiming, patting him on the back. "I take it you like my appearance," she smiles smugly, proud of herself.

"Yeah, I mean... wow. _Wow._" He gestures to her clothes, his eyes lingering on her breasts - naturally - spluttering as he tries to find the right words. "Wow," he repeats again, taking a sip of his beer because he feels like he needs the diversion.

"That's three _'wows'_," she smirks in amusement. "I must be looking really good tonight. Then again, when I looked into the mirror earlier I thought to myself: _"Hot damn, if I saw someone looking like _this_, you'd be in for a threesome..."_

"You're evil," he shakes his head, placing his lips against hers, kissing her heatedly. She moans against his mouth but pulls away from him before she'd loose her last straw of self control.

"Hmmm, I see you like the thought."

"More than you know," he winks at her. "So what's the occasion?" he inquires, pointing towards her choice of clothing.

"Well, I thought we could visit a club tonight, have some fun - drink and dance all night." She sits in his lap, leaning towards him, her lips hovering dangerously close to his. "Then we could have sex in the bathroom. How does that sound?"

"I like the way you think, girl," he grins excitedly, kissing her again. He breaks away from her mouth and starts kissing his way down her neck, nibbling at her shoulder. He stops there for a moment, sucking on her skin - even though he knows she hates hickeys - because for some reason, when he thinks about going to that club where there will be plenty of other men while she's looking like _this_, he feels the need to mark her as his. She is _his_ girl.

...And where did that thought came from?

He pulls away from her entirely, shocked and confused and _scared_ of his own emotions. When did he start thinking of Ruby as his girl? That's not right - but of course, nothing they are doing together is right. Haley is _his_ girl.

_Right, then why have you been cheating on her for months now? And why hasn't she contacted you at all yet?_

It's true, he hasn't talked to Haley in months. He didn't want to call her because she was the one who needed time, she should be the one to call her when she feels like she's finally had enough time. But the worst of it all is that he doesn't really miss her anymore. He used to miss her in the beginning. But then the months have passed and he grew closer to Ruby and he got used to his wife's absence. He does love her still, but he doesn't miss her anymore.

And then there's Ruby. The girl he can't stay away from even if he tried. The girl he misses when she's not around even if it's just for a few hours. The girl he's just referred to as his. The girl who's currently sitting in his lap, looking hot as hell, watching him in concern.

He shakes his head, feeling a headache coming on.

"Hey, are you okay?" she ask him worriedly.

"Yeah, sure, sure," he nods, trying to look convincing and leaning in for another kiss, trying to distract her. She puts a finger to his lips, effectively stopping him from kissing her.

"You don't look okay. Tell me," she demands, her tone indicating that he has no other choice. See, this is what he was talking about. Now she's gonna make him talk and then they'll be going nowhere tonight, and there will be no sex in the bathroom, and she dressed up like this for absolutely nothing. _Well, at least there won't be any males ogling his girl._

And here we go again.

"It's just..." he trails off, unsure what to say. He knows he can't tell anything to her about his feelings for her that seem to get stronger and stronger each day, because she'll run screaming for the hills, and he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to scare her away. And he can't tell her he thinks of her as his because she'll castrate him right away. She's no one's property, you know. He sighs. "Well, you know, I just never thought I'd be the type to cheat." She looks down at her lap. He can see that she feels guilty about it too. This is a touchy subject for her too. "Not after I found the right girl."

"And is Haley the right girl?" she asks slowly, timidly, like she doesn't even want to know the answer. She still doesn't look at him.

"I used to think so."

"And now?"

_Now? Well, lately I've been thinking that maybe you're the right girl. But maybe that's just a fleeting thought. Maybe it's just passion, desire._ That's what he thinks. "I don't know anymore." And that's what he says.

She looks up at him again after a few moments, smiling at him softly. She's decided not to engage in this conversation with him right now. She's not ready for this thing between them to end. "So... do you still wanna go or...? We could stay here too, if you wanna. Or I could go, if you don't feel like up to it tonight," she offers him but deep down she wishes he'd make her stay. And he does.

"No, no, stay," he says quickly. The desperation is so clear in his voice, he has to cringe. Even after admitting that he'd never thought he'd cheat on his partner, he still can't let her go. "I want you to stay." She smiles brightly, his request making her happier than it should.

"Okay," she agrees.

"But maybe we could stay here tonight," he suggests. "You do look really amazing and it's a shame it'll go to waste, I'm just not in the mood tonight."

"S'okay," she nods understandingly, leaning in to kiss him softly, tenderly. These romantic kisses are very rare with them, they almost never happen - but that just makes them cherish those even more.

And that's the first time he makes love to her.

* * *

><p>The first time Ruby realizes she's in love with Dean Winchester is when she breaks up with him - if it even can be called a 'break up'.<p>

It was never supposed to be a real relationship. It was supposed to be just sex. Friends with benefits. No real feelings, no strings, no attachments, _nothing_. Just sex and no more.

It didn't happen like that.

Everything was fine for a while. They fooled around, had great, hot, _steamy_ sex, enjoyed each other's company.

But then something changed.

It was unintentional. They started to spend more time together, just hanging out, getting to know the other more, and somehow, somewhere between the lines, somewhere along the way, she fell for him._ Hard._

Of course she never realized that, not for a very long time - all she knew was that she cared about him, more than she should have, and not in the way she cared for Sam. And that scared her for more than one reasons.

Becuase it was not supposed to go like this. Because he was married. Because he didn't feel the same way about her, because he loved his wife. She was just... a fling for him. That's it, _just a_ _fling_. So she decided to end things with him.

She finds him in a bar, close to the motel they're currently staying at. She sits down next to him and he greets her happily, grinning at her.

"Hey, Rubes. Want a drink?"

"No, thanks. We need to talk," she tells him seriously. Her somber tone wipes the smile off his face.

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, I've been thinking..." she pauses. He waits for her to continue, but she doesn't. She seems to be deep in thought.

"About?"

"About us and this situation. It's been great, Dean. But I don't think we should continue it anymore," she announces, her voice completely void of any emotion, but inside her heart is breaking. She can't remember the last time she felt like this. It's confusing, unnerving and painful. _So painful._ It shouldn't be so painful, it shouldn't hurt this much. She's never felt this way about anyone before and it aches to end things with him, but she knows it has to be done. For herself, for him too. And that's when she knows. _She's in love with him._ And it's too late to go back now.

This realization scares her even more and consolidates her in her decision. She can't do this. She's not good at this whole _'being-in-love'_ thing, she doesn't know how to love somehow properly, and even if she did... he's still married. No, this can't go on anymore.

He recoils from her, shock overtaking his features. "Oh." They both stay quiet for a few seconds - he's rubbing his temple, confused and still shocked by this new turn of events, and she's trying her best to remain indifferent, waiting for him to say something. "Okay," he nods eventually.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I mean if that's what you want," he shrugs, looking unconcerned. He doesn't want her to know how much he's hurting right now. After all, _it's only sex, no feelings_. That's what she had told him after the first night.

She gawps at him disbelievingly. He can't be serious, right? How can he be so impassive? Does he really not care? Does she really mean nothing to him? Okay, she didn't expect him to fall to his knees, begging her to stay with him, but she thought he wouldn't agree until he knew why she made this decision. Or look a little disappointed that he's not getting any from her from now on. Or maybe a little concerned about what will happen to their friendship now._ Anything._

"Yeah, that's what I want," she snaps furiously, eyes blazing. She's actually a little glad he's given her a reason to be mad - anger is a much easier feeling than pain.

"Okay," he repeats simply which makes her want to slap him. She deserves to feel some of her pain too.

"Can I ask why?" he inquires after a moment, still perplexed. _Well, at least he asked about it,_ she thinks bitterly.

She shrugs. "We both knew this... arrangement couldn't go on forever," is all the explanation he gets.

_So this is what it was? An arrangement?_ He wants to ask her, but he decides it would be better if he kept his mouth shut, and keep his poker face on.

She gets up from the bar stool, ready to go, but before she leaves, she turns back to him. "Go back to your wife, Dean," she advices. "Try to make things right with her." She pauses, trying to keep her tears at bay. He cannot see her cry. "You deserve someone like her." _And not someone like me._

"Wait," he calls after her when she moves towards the exit. She reluctantly stops, but doesn't turn around because she doesn't want to look at him - she fears the sight of him will finally break her and she'll burst into tears. "This won't change anything between us, right?" He doesn't realize he's asked the exact same question from her after their first kiss until the words have already left his mouth.

She freezes, her mind going back to that night, that scene a little similar to this one, but different at the same time, and then she replies with the same answer she replied with almost two years ago: "No. It won't."

They both know it will.

* * *

><p><strong>So... what do ya think? Is this the downfall of Dean's and Haley's relationship or do they still have a chance? Do you agree with Haley's decision or do you think she's being unreasonable? Do you think Dean was a total jackass to her?<strong>

**And Dean/Ruby (oh, you have no idea how happy I am that I can finally write them too, I'm so much more familiar with them) I know, I know what they're doing is wrong. They know it too. (Obviously, I tried to show that they're not exactly guilt-free either) And I don't condone or encourage cheating either, trust me I don't. But this is fiction, not real life, so... And I know it kinda makes them look like the bad guys here, but bear with me, okay? I have it all planned out.  
>So, it's obvious that Dean has feelings for Ruby too, but do you think he actually loves her like she loves him?<strong>

**Oh, and I'd like to point out a mistake in the last chapter. There was this line: _"I'm gonna miss you too, Ruby," he tells her, using the nickname that she hates so much." _I wasn't meant to write _Ruby_ there, because that's her name and not a nickname, I was supposed to write _Rubes_. I don't know why I didn't. But it caught my eye just now and I had to point it out. **

**By the way, I was sick this week and I rewatched some old SPN episodes, some season 3 episodes too, and ahhhh, I miss Ruby so much! It's unfair, they never even gave her a real chance to shine, uhhh :/ And they never gave Dean/Ruby a chance either, even though their chemistry was so fucking obvious, it couldn't have gotten any more obvious! They could have been so amazing together, I just know they could have been. (No, I'm still not over that. I might never get over it, mind you :P) So, now I'm just gonna go and cry in a dark corner for the rest of the night :(**

**Love,  
>Kathy<strong>


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